In my 29 years of representing accident victims, I have seen parental love in action many times. Representing children has always been a special interest of mine, and it has given me an opportunity to observe the human condition of parenting in many forms. Perhaps I have been lucky, but in almost all cases, the parents who have been my clients have demonstrated what is best in our species – selfless devotion to the welfare of their child, even at their own expense.

Recently, I represented a mother and her adult daughter (names withheld, and their story told anonymously with their consent) who were involved in a terrible car accident. These two women were taking a “girls’ vacation” while Dad stayed home and worked. They made elaborate plans and excitedly looked forward to a great time on a mother-daughter adventure. Tragically, while driving to the airport, they were struck by a pickup being operated by a drunk driver. Their car was knocked off the road, went airborne and crashed into a culvert. Both suffered significant injuries.

Their case had legal complexities that are irrelevant, except that they created delay in the resolution of the case that allowed me to get to know these two women better. They are both the type of people you would want as friends, family members or coworkers – honest, hard-working, caring and fair-minded.

As often happens with injury cases, the medical evidence regarding these two women was uneven. By most objective measures, the mother’s injuries were more substantial than the daughter’s. When the case went to mediation, the offers for settlement of The mother’s case were significantly higher than for the daughter’s. When we accepted, there was compromise on both sides, but the final result was favorable. My clients, who were accompanied by their loyal and protective but unobtrusive husband/father, agreed to a settlement that had the mother receiving more than the daughter. Everyone expressed their thanks for my work, and we all went home.

The next day, the mother called me. She asked if I could modify the result of the case so that she and her daughter received equal settlements. My first reaction was as a lawyer, as I explained the legal aspects of the question. Because an agreement had been reached, there had to be proper documentation of the balancing of the monetary result of the case. Either the mother would have to “gift” the money to her daughter, or the entire deal would have to be reworked. The mother insisted that the deal be reworked. She wanted it formalized that, regardless of what the medical reports said, her daughter’s pain and suffering were treated as equal to her own. A few telephone calls were required, but I was able to accommodate her request.

Once the logistics were worked out, I reflected on this mother’s actions as a parent. I admired how loving and selfless she was, and how natural her request seemed to me. I have aspired to be that type of parent – one who puts his children first. Seeing this woman effectively take money out of her own pocket and give it to her child was a loving and generous act. However, the way she went about it – insisting that her daughter’s injury receive the same recognition as her own from others, instead of making a private gesture – was a lesson I hope to take with me forever. It is not enough to root for your children, or to give them financial support. As parents, we are charged with putting our children first in every setting, particularly in the eyes of the outside world. This mother rejected any sense of competing with her daughter for the recognition of the insurance adjusters and defense lawyers who represented an objective view of their case. Even after prevailing in that microcosmic court of public opinion, she wanted a do-over for the benefit of her child.

My work exposes me to a great deal of human suffering caused by those who refuse to accept responsibility for the harm they have inflicted on others. Yet, I am often reminded of the basic goodness of people, and in this case, the love of a mother for her daughter.

Today’s letter is on the subject of optimism.  My wife Gayle, who is my inspiration for just about everything I do, saw me tapping away at my laptop and asked what I was doing.  I told her I was writing about optimism.  Her response?  “Need a ghostwriter for that?”

OK, so I am often serious, cautious and realistic.  But, the answer to her question is definitely, “Not yet!”

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Every beginning, or at least every human beginning, had a prelude – something that led to the person saying, “OK, I’m starting X.” Between the prelude and the moment X is started is the preparation.  Plans are made, ground is laid and prayers are prayed, during which the Beginner tries to do everything right so things start without a hitch.  “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry,” declared the Scottish poet Robert Burns.  He had a point, but the moral of his poem “To a Mouse” is that, in spite of things going awry, onward we must go.

And so, as I prepare for the next phase of my career, I have embarked upon such a beginning.  I am learning a lot, and some of those lessons are more difficult than others.  Regardless, what awaits me is a future I know will be bright.

These are difficult times for a lot of people.  I won’t bore you with the details. There are a thousand news and opinion sources for that.  What strikes me as most telling about the human spirit, and the American spirit in particular, is that in the face of all this doom and gloom, we are still optimistic.  In his April 23, 2009 “Political Animal” column in the Washington Monthly, Steve Benen wrote:

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RIGHT TRACK/WRONG TRACK…. President Obama’s approval rating in the new AP poll is at 64%, which largely in line with other recent national surveys. The more interesting number, however, relates to public optimism.

For the first time in years, more Americans than not say the country is headed in the right direction, a sign that Barack Obama has used the first 100 days of his presidency to lift the public’s mood and inspire hopes for a brighter future.

Intensely worried about their personal finances and medical expenses, Americans nonetheless appear realistic about the time Obama might need to turn things around, according to an Associated Press-GfK poll. It shows most Americans consider their new president to be a strong, ethical and empathetic leader who is working to change Washington.

The AP poll found that 48% of Americans say the country is headed in the right direction, up eight points from February, while 44% believe the nation is on the wrong track.
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What Benen is reporting is huge.  We as Americans have returned to being optimistic, at a time when we are being told the sky is falling.  That is terrific news!

Our greatest successes as a nation have come when the chips were down.  We won an improbable victory against an overwhelming adversary to obtain our independence.  George Washington became the Father of our Country because his will – his undying optimism – carried a ragtag army of patriots to a victory against a British force that was substantially larger, had bigger guns, and wore those spiffy red uniforms!

At the end of the war, we were a mess of a civilization, with little money and a society fragmented with battle lines that would ultimately lead to the Civil War.  There was every reason to believe our new nation would founder on its own internal discord.  Then, we adopted a Constitution that has lived and guided our nation for 220 years.   To think a group of old guys in funny coats could agree on anything took amazing optimism.  Through the Constitutional Conventions and the long, tortured road toward ratification, our Founding Fathers kept pushing, knowing our greatest days were ahead.

Of course, the Constitution did not solve the North-South problem, which was tied very closely to the issue of slavery.  The Civil War became the most horrifying conflagration in our history.  Immediately after the war, the country was a disaster.  We were torn apart as a people.  An entire generation of young men had vanished from the battlefields into graveyards that scarred our land.  Our greatest leader had been assassinated and replaced by a much lesser man (Andrew Johnson, the first President impeached and not convicted).  Reconstruction sowed the seeds of an enduring enmity between North and South that still persists, although I think we can say the tide has turned on that.  Yet, we did not stop moving forward.  We built and expanded the country, not just to the Pacific Ocean but all points in between.

The stories of American grit, determination and optimism are so common, we have come to expect them.  Whether we were conquering polio, defeating fascism or going to the moon, we Americans see only challenges, not obstacles.  Just as we overcame the Great Depression, we will survive this latest economic downturn and come out stronger than ever.

Many great business success stories came out of the Depression.  Sixteen out of the thirty current members of the Dow Jones Industrial Average were started during a recession!  We will see many more success stories that begin as we climb out of our current recession.  Keep your fingers crossed.  I am!