I never heard of Austin O’Malley until I went searching for a good quote about revenge.  According to the Irish leader (1760-1854), “Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.”  He must have learned the hard way that there is no joy or satisfaction in revenge.

People file lawsuits for different reasons.  The one that worries me most in a potential client is revenge.  In my experience, no lawsuit has ever satisfied a thirst for revenge.

Lawsuits accomplish good things when filed for the right reasons.  When someone’s carelessness causes injury or death, what can we as a society do?  No lawsuit can restore a person’s life or health, and while “an eye for an eye” sounds good, our courts are not in the business of putting people’s eyes out.

However, lawsuits provide compensation for “economic” losses (medical expenses and lost earnings), and “non-economic” losses (physical pain and suffering, mental anguish, physical impairment and disfigurement).  Some think it wrong or impossibly difficult to translate pain or suffering into money damages.  The truth is: no amount of money can make up for the loss of a mother or child, a lifetime of pain, or a disfiguring scar.  But what else can we offer people?  We must have a means of compensating you if your loved one, livelihood or health is wrongfully taken from you.  Otherwise, your only recourse may be revenge.

Lawsuits also discourage bad behavior.  The “litigation tax,” in plain terms, is the cost of preventing lawsuits by increasing safety.  I don’t know about you, but I want the auto maker to think about the Ford Pinto exploding gas tank lawsuits when they decide where to position the gas tank on my car.  When people and corporations are immune from lawsuits, they play fast and loose with safety.  We have safer products, safer workplaces, and a safer society, due in large part to the work of lawyers.

Lawsuits prevent the need for revenge.  When people have access to the courts, they have a means of righting the wrong visited upon them.  It may be imperfect, but it is part of the fabric that holds our society together.  Where people have no access to courts, they resort to guns.  “Revenge killings” are rare in the US, but they are more prevalent in third world countries with no effective civil justice system.

“Living well is the best revenge.”  I always liked that saying, although I never heard of George Herbert (English metaphysical poet, 1595-1633) until I Googled his quote.  When lawsuits succeed, they compensate victims for their losses.  For someone who has lost what money can never replace, the ability to live well (or at least better) is the best we as civilized people can return to them.

Most religious traditions have some form of atonement.  Whether it is Confession, Lent, Ramadan or Yom Kippur, people of faith are taught to repent and seek absolution for their sins.  In the law, the concept of forgiveness is translated into compensation.  There is no “eye for an eye,” but one is discharged from responsibility for harming another only when proper consideration is paid.

In practice, most legal claims shun any form of apology, even when they are settled.  Typically, releases drawn up by lawyers and insurance companies expressly disavow any blame or responsibility.  They essentially say, “We did nothing wrong, but we are paying you anyway.”

If you do something wrong that causes harm to another person, should you apologize?

There are different views on this, and I cannot give legal advice that would apply to every situation.  However, let me say this: If more people apologized, fewer people would get sued.

I ran into a bicyclist once.  It was a horrifying experience.  I made a right turn on red, and a woman on a bicycle sprinted across my path.  I never saw her until she was under my hood, hollering, “Stop!”  Thankfully, she was not hurt, but her bicycle was a mess.  I jumped out of my car and said, “I’m sorry!  It was all my fault!”  She insisted she did not need a doctor, and ultimately, I only paid to have her bike fixed.

I cannot say my mea culpa changed anything.  But you would not believe the times a client has expressed shock and anger that the other driver, or the doctor, or the employer did not have the decency to apologize.  Then, when an insurance adjuster treats him or her like a criminal, the client’s next call is to a lawyer.

Before cases go to trial, they usually go to mediation, which is a moderated settlement conference.  Without exception, the most important thing said by a defense lawyer at any mediation is, “On behalf of my client, we would like to tell you how sorry we are…”  An apology takes the edge off the negotiation.

If you do something that hurts someone else, an apology is at least worth considering.

And, if this message offended you in any way, I am truly sorry.

Last Sunday’s New York Times reported the death of comedian Robert Schimmel.  Those of us who have followed Schimmel’s career are not surprised to hear of his death at age 60.  What comes as a shock is that he died in a car accident.

The comic’s struggles with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma have been part of his act and his life’s story for years.  An “edge” comedian whose work walked the wrong side of the line of good taste, Schimmel took self-deprecation to another level.  To watch him was to witness his deadpan observations of the many things that went wrong in his life.  When I last saw him (at Houston’s “Improv”), his body wore the ravages of chemotherapy.  He wrested humor out of lymphoma, just as he had with his prior heart attack.  Schimmel triumphed over cancer by reducing it to a joke, just another bump in the road of his life.  By mocking his suffering, he overcame it.

Schimmel’s other travails included Hepatitis C (from a blood transfusion he received while in the Air Force) and cirrhosis (from chemotherapy).  Having survived so much, his death from injuries suffered in a car accident is sadly ironic.

We drive ourselves to work, school, and medical appointments, and the most dangerous thing most of us do is get into an automobile.  A common response I hear from people who have suffered severe injuries in car accidents is surprise.  They cannot believe this has happened to them.  The purposefulness of Schimmel’s life and the random senselessness of his death show how one moment can drastically alter anyone’s life.

I am “TEXTING” this entry from my iPhone, which is only slightly more frustrating than typing on a Blackberry. What I am NOT doing is DRIVING. If I attempted doing both at the same time, I would be a menace to both the driving and blogging public. I know this is true, as I have been guilty of DWT (Driving While Texting) in the past (I have vowed to stop).

People do everything in their cars. They talk on the phone, sing along with the radio, “manage” their children. And they text. I have never understood how people tend to personal grooming while driving and not come out looking like a Salvador Dali lithograph.

I completely understand why people text and drive. We have so much we think we need to say. We email, Facebook, instant message. We even blog. There is so much down time while we drive. You know, waiting at lights, stop-and-go traffic, freeways. Driving is often boring, and we have to keep in touch. Don’t we?

Sadly, people pay little attention to the road while their thumbs work overtime as they DWT. When they collide into vehicles, others pay the price for their inattention.

The statistics on DWT are frightening.  You are 23 times more likely to cause an accident if you drive while texting.  DWT is at least as dangerous as DWI. This is not just a problem for teens.  Watch people in the cars around you.

Several states are passing laws outlawing DWT. People who cause accidents while texting are at risk for being SUED for PUNITIVE DAMAGES, which are often not covered by insurance.

Driving is one place where multi-tasking is a bad idea. Keep your eyes on the road and your thumbs on the steering wheel.