In my 29 years of representing accident victims, I have seen parental love in action many times. Representing children has always been a special interest of mine, and it has given me an opportunity to observe the human condition of parenting in many forms. Perhaps I have been lucky, but in almost all cases, the parents who have been my clients have demonstrated what is best in our species – selfless devotion to the welfare of their child, even at their own expense.

Recently, I represented a mother and her adult daughter (names withheld, and their story told anonymously with their consent) who were involved in a terrible car accident. These two women were taking a “girls’ vacation” while Dad stayed home and worked. They made elaborate plans and excitedly looked forward to a great time on a mother-daughter adventure. Tragically, while driving to the airport, they were struck by a pickup being operated by a drunk driver. Their car was knocked off the road, went airborne and crashed into a culvert. Both suffered significant injuries.

Their case had legal complexities that are irrelevant, except that they created delay in the resolution of the case that allowed me to get to know these two women better. They are both the type of people you would want as friends, family members or coworkers – honest, hard-working, caring and fair-minded.

As often happens with injury cases, the medical evidence regarding these two women was uneven. By most objective measures, the mother’s injuries were more substantial than the daughter’s. When the case went to mediation, the offers for settlement of The mother’s case were significantly higher than for the daughter’s. When we accepted, there was compromise on both sides, but the final result was favorable. My clients, who were accompanied by their loyal and protective but unobtrusive husband/father, agreed to a settlement that had the mother receiving more than the daughter. Everyone expressed their thanks for my work, and we all went home.

The next day, the mother called me. She asked if I could modify the result of the case so that she and her daughter received equal settlements. My first reaction was as a lawyer, as I explained the legal aspects of the question. Because an agreement had been reached, there had to be proper documentation of the balancing of the monetary result of the case. Either the mother would have to “gift” the money to her daughter, or the entire deal would have to be reworked. The mother insisted that the deal be reworked. She wanted it formalized that, regardless of what the medical reports said, her daughter’s pain and suffering were treated as equal to her own. A few telephone calls were required, but I was able to accommodate her request.

Once the logistics were worked out, I reflected on this mother’s actions as a parent. I admired how loving and selfless she was, and how natural her request seemed to me. I have aspired to be that type of parent – one who puts his children first. Seeing this woman effectively take money out of her own pocket and give it to her child was a loving and generous act. However, the way she went about it – insisting that her daughter’s injury receive the same recognition as her own from others, instead of making a private gesture – was a lesson I hope to take with me forever. It is not enough to root for your children, or to give them financial support. As parents, we are charged with putting our children first in every setting, particularly in the eyes of the outside world. This mother rejected any sense of competing with her daughter for the recognition of the insurance adjusters and defense lawyers who represented an objective view of their case. Even after prevailing in that microcosmic court of public opinion, she wanted a do-over for the benefit of her child.

My work exposes me to a great deal of human suffering caused by those who refuse to accept responsibility for the harm they have inflicted on others. Yet, I am often reminded of the basic goodness of people, and in this case, the love of a mother for her daughter.